I have to tell you, it is still weird here without the fish. I get flashes of guilt and then I think, “oh, right, someone who loves them has them now” and then I feel slightly less guilty. It’s a process.
Speaking of guilt. I ran into my cousin tonight, just as Mike and I were slinking into the arena to go for a run. Cousin John was curious about why I’ve been so mum on the whole running thing and also why we were less than forthright about running tonight. I said “well, I haven’t been running that much,” and Mike offered “she’s fallen off the wagon,” and John nailed it: “ah, it’s guilt!”
Yes, it is guilt. What a weird thing. I’m not even sure who I am letting down, other than myself. And if you’ve been living under a rock, you’re probably not aware that we’ve had record amounts of snow here and therefore no one on earth was expecting me to be able to continue to run outside all winter. Nonetheless, if there is anyone I hate letting down more than myself, I’m not sure who it would be. Well, probably my kids, but they tend to be more forgiving of me than I am of myself.
Spring is rolling around, the snow is shrinking (and, apparently, replenishing itself somewhat this coming Saturday) and I’ll be able to get back to building up my stamina again. For now, though, it’s little bits here and there…and registration for upcoming events to motivate myself.
…and with events come t-shirts and other memorabilia. I’m still undecided about the eventual use to which I plan to put my medals, but tonight I decided to go for broke and pare down my running duds to the things I actually will wear. I probably could have thrown out more, but it’s really hard to part with such hard-earned gear!
Tonight, though, as I circled the hockey players, I felt like a complete poser to be wearing my Lucky 7 Relay shirt. I might have done that 7k with ease back in November, but I’d be in a sorry state if I had to run it today. Maybe I should throw out all my “event” shirts and 5 down the guilt, too!
Day 146 Scorecard: 730 down, 1095 to go
1. Chips – I felt a pang as I walked down the chip aisle, whilst searching for my favourite gum. I was able to successfully squelch it, however.
2. Sugary Latte Drinks
3. Mini Wheats
Exercise: Full disclosure: Mike and I did NOT run last night, we were both too tired. So we ran tonight instead.