September 30, 2015

Unbalanced: September 30, 2015

I’ve had the weirdest illness and I don’t (still) know what it is (was).  I’m going to tell you about it, a bit, so my absence is clearer.

Yesterday, I got up to go to work and kind of fell all over the place.  I thought I was just extremely exhausted, and I was.  I slept all day and all the next night and I woke up this morning, still fairly wiped out.  At about noon, I was starting to be able to understand things.

Yeah, that was the weird part.  I had been unable to read or comprehend much of what was happening around me.  I have almost no memory of the day.  Mike tells me I called him at work to tell him I would be sleeping in.  I’m taking his word for it.

The other strange part is that I’m not overly alarmed about this entire ‘illness’.  I don’t know what happened, or why I still feel echo-ey or weird, but I’m not inclined to dwell on it which is, strangely, a good thing.  All will be well once this lingering headache is done.

In the meantime, it occurred to me (mid-afternoon) that this is the last day of September.  Tomorrow begins the Month of Balance and the last 31 days of the year.  I remain glad that I started this project on an odd date – it’s not wound up into other happenings or other celebrations (unless you count finishing on Halloween).  It’s going to end with a whimper, as it were.

Let’s all just hope that the first thing that is fully balanced, beginning tomorrow, is my head.

Day 334 scorecard: 1670 down, 155 to go

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September 28, 2015

Skeletons: September 28, 2015

I am starting to wonder if this blog is going to come back to haunt me.  It’s been a thing, this election cycle, for commentary people have written or views they’ve expressed, to be unearthed and used against them.

To be clear, I’m never, ever, ever running for public office.  But still.  The Internet is so permanent, it’s a little terrifying.

That said, I don’t think I’ve said anything particularly egregious in the past 11 months, but please let me know if you’ve spotted anything horrifying. I’d like to know.

Also: on the nights when I have very little to say, there is always the chance that something might slip out that is not for the faint at heart.

Consider yourselves warned.

Day 332 scorecard: 1660 down, 165 to go

September 27, 2015

On Changing and Staying the Same: September 27, 2015

As this year-long project nudges ever closer to the end date, I find myself contemplating what has changed for us and what has not.  Today, I thought I would share two observations with you.

I am a little more ruthless:

Several months ago, I took a cloth bag of ‘stuff’ to work with the intention of scanning them with my easy to use work scanner.  It never happened, and when I moved offices a couple of months ago, I brought the bag home.  It’s been waiting ever since.  I went through it today and shredded almost everything in it.

In particular, I notice that my relationship to ancient relics (and by ‘ancient’, I mean my under-20 life) has changed dramatically.  When this project first started it caused me nearly physical pain to leave an old letter unread let along casually shredding it.  What I have learned is that all the old papers do is overwhelm me with guilt.  No one goes back and reads old emails, why would I read old letters?  The majority of their contents deals with the mundane minutiae of my then-life.

My old essays and scorecards for public speaking are mildly interesting.  I was rather surprised at the first page of my Great Gatsby essay (it was really great) but I had no desire to read the whole thing.  And if I don’t…who would?

The trick is the shredder.  When I’m firmly in the “let it go” mood, I seize the moment and shred away.  It’s far better to allow those memories to exist in my head than to have boxes of mouldy, mouldering papers.  Be gone!

I am still terrible at clutter control:

I don’t always practice what I preach.  My tiny office space is constantly overflowing with the detritus of life.  Today I spent a couple of hours just going through the stuff that had accumulated on my 2’x4′ (approx) desk.  It’s amazing what all can whirl together.  Astonishingly enough, the majority of my purse-making had happened at this desk and part of my clearing up involved removing pins, thread, embroidery floss, and other sewing stuff.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not crazy about dealing with spilled straight pins, but there they were, in the room I’m most likely to be barefoot in.

I am better at bringing things into this house, so I’m going to continue to be happy with that development, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get the hang of always having all the papers in my life in order.  Maybe when the 3 children move out (which will be at least 11 more years, minimum).  Children produce their own body weight in paperwork every 30 days (I’m sure I read that somewhere).

There has been progress and I’ll take it.

Day 331 scorecard: 1655 down, 170 to go

September 26, 2015

Minus the Muse: September 26, 2015

One of the biggest challenges, with this blog, is the writing every day part.  Mainly, however, it’s the sitting-down-and-getting-started part.  Once I get going, I rarely have trouble thinking what to write about and some days I’m absolutely bursting with ideas of what to write.  Today is not one of those days.

I should be inspired, though, because even as I write this I can hear Mike downstairs, writing the list on the chalkboard.  Lately he’s become far more willing to hop in and help out, and usually that makes it easier to me to just let the inspiration flow.  How about I’ll just let you know that the gratitude is happening in a big way, if not the inspiration.

Tomorrow we are going to take a nice long run and I hope that will prime the pump for a more exciting post.

Until then,

Day 330 scorecard: 1650 down, 175 to go

September 25, 2015

Labels: September 25, 2015

In order to prevent my confusion, Solomon helpfully tagged his 5Down items of choice today:

Kids today can't even write the word down.  What is this world coming to?

Kids today can’t even write the word “down”. What is this world coming to? Grumble mumble.

Also I wonder about the eye-bleeding factor for the above-pictured book (laffs?!?).  Interestingly, this is from the kid who hates misspelled words.

I would write more, but I’m ‘written out’ today.  It was one of those write-as-fast-as-you-can days of which I’m so not fond.

I promise to pick up the slack soon.

Day 329 scorecard: 1645 down, 180 to go

September 24, 2015

PAINt: September 24, 2015

If we ever actually get around to listing this house and if anyone ever actually buys it…I’m going to be a little sad if they paint over the wall I just (hopefully) finished.  “Do an accent wall” my sister said “it’ll be nice, and not too much work” she said.

Why I needed 3 coats I’ll never know.  Possibly Mike bought too-cheap paint.  It looks pretty great now, though, and it’s only taken up a couple of hours 3 evenings this week.

It’s a curious thing, time.  I spend far too much of it obsessively reading.  Before there was the Internet and before I lived close to places where I can shop, there used to be a time I ran out of reading material.  I remember, too, being in South Korea and being compelled to read Thomas Hardy.  The horror.  But now, there are no natural limits to my ability to read, ready, read online and off.

There is actually a point of diminishing returns and it’s inextricably bound up with how I ‘spend’ my time.

Sometimes, though, I ponder what time-consuming things I’d pay someone else to do if I had too much money.  House-cleaning is #1, but painting is a close second (although far less time in the long run).  I enjoy it about as much as, well, watching paint dry.  I’m also going to pretend that the 3 evenings of painting is what is killing my chest muscles and triceps, and not yesterday’s foray into Yoga.

That’s all I’ve got for today, folks, I’m not a machine.

Day 328 scorecard: 1640 down, 185 to go